The Magic Teacher 

“Silence! The lollipop sticks have spoken.” 

-Job

(Inspired by teacher Aoife @ SWIFT 2017) 

The Spy Who Taught Me

INT. MOSCOW UNIVERSITY LECTURE HALL. 1980. DAY. 

LIONEL STEELE (35) stands at the top of his class. He is plain looking, chubby and shabbily dressed. It is a classroom of Russian students. They stare at him, waiting for him to begin the MATHEMATICS lecture. Time passes slowly. LIONEL is frozen. He has forgotten what to say. An attractive young woman at the front raises her hand. She smiles. She knows she is beautiful. 

LIONEL

Sorry. What’s your question? 

WOMAN

Are you a British spy?

LIONEL (obviously flustered)

Sorry?

WOMAN

We’ve all been wondering, are you a spy? You remind us of Mister James Bond. 

(The class laughs.)

LIONEL (Trying to distract. He can’t believe he’s been found out so quickly)

What’s your name?

WOMAN

My name is Alyona. (She flicks her long dark hair over her shoulder)

LIONEL

No Alyona. I am not a spy. Not everyone from the West is here to spy on Mother Russia. My wife and son are Russian. 

ALYONA

I suppose we’ll have to take your word for it. But we’re watching you. 

(She smiles showing shark like teeth) 

LIONEL

OK. Let’s start with some simple algebraic equations…

                        LIONEL STEELE WILL RETURN…                              

                                                    

Fame

Tom wished 

he was rich 

and famous 

so he burned 

home to get it

He slogged 

day 

and night 

twisting that rope 

to climb

Collecting friends 

for future 

reference

But 

when he eventually 

saw the top 

he found himself 

all alone. 

-Job

Rhyme Royal

The teacher’s voice was very droll

She was a cruel cynic.

Students called her Miss Troll

She was so unhygienic.

But none saw her mental clinic

And never knew her fate

That day she realized Miss was a fake.

-Job

 

Classic Textbook Questions

Some classic English Textbook questions from Augustine Martin’s Exploring English 1. I particularly like the first question. If you didn’t like the story read it again and learn to like it. No option for students to say the story is boring.

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